Ah, the age-old question that has you scrolling through Google at 2 AM: “When to stop nursing?” 👀
If you’ve found yourself here, chances are you’ve been wrestling with this decision (perhaps while trying to sneak a midnight snack in the quiet of your kitchen.)
You’re not alone in this internal tug-of-war! Breastfeeding is so much more than just a way to feed your little one; it’s a lifeline of comfort, a moment of connection, and yes, sometimes a well-deserved pause in the chaos of motherhood.
As your baby grows and becomes a curious little explorer, the question of when to wean can feel like an emotional rollercoaster—one minute you’re celebrating their milestones, and the next, you’re questioning if you’re holding on too tightly.
It’s perfectly normal to feel a mix of frustration and uncertainty about this transition. After all, you’re not just navigating the logistics of feeding; you’re also grappling with the emotional weight of letting go of a bond that has been so pivotal in your journey together.
But fear not! Amidst the confusion and the late-night Googling, there’s hope. Remember that this journey is uniquely yours, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Whether you’re ready to embrace the next chapter or still finding your footing, know that every mom has been there, questioning and second-guessing along the way. So let’s dive into this question together, armed with empathy, a sprinkle of humor, and the understanding that you’re doing an amazing job, no matter where you are on this path.
Here's what we'll be covering in this blog post:
Common Signs Moms Mistake for Their Baby or Toddler Being Ready to Wean from Breastfeeding
Toddler/Infant Distracted at the Breast
Distraction at the breast is a normal developmental stage, particularly as your baby grows more curious about the world. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re ready to wean—it’s often just a phase. Babies aren’t plotting their independence; they’re just captivated by the dog wagging its tail or the sibling zooming by in a superhero cape.
If you’ve ever tried nursing while the doorbell rings or a favorite cartoon comes on, you know it can feel like competing with a three-ring circus. Rest assured, these moments of distraction are usually temporary and often just part of your baby exploring their world.
Breastfeeding Less Frequently
It’s natural for breastfeeding frequency to change over time. Babies go through periods of growth and independence that may temporarily affect their nursing habits. Reduced frequency isn’t always a sign that weaning is imminent. Sometimes, they’re just too busy plotting their next big adventure (like learning to crawl into a laundry basket).
"Comfort" Nursing
Breastfeeding for comfort is as valid as breastfeeding for nutrition. It meets your child’s emotional needs and helps regulate their nervous system. Comfort nursing isn’t a sign that breastfeeding is unnecessary; rather, it’s one of its most profound benefits. The fear that your child will not learn other ways to be soothed (or soothe themselves) makes sense, but it's unfounded when you look at soothing from a neurodevelopmental perspective. You might think that by breastfeeding to comfort you are "reinforcing" the action of breastfeeding being a place of comfort and therefore inhibiting them from acquiring other ways of being comforted. But the reality is that as you soothe and comfort them their brains and bodies are actually learning that they CAN be comforted. It is building fundamental structures in the brain that allow them to more easily be comforted (and comfort themselves) for the rest of their lives. (Neuroscientist Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum has a great Instagram post on this!)
Shorter Sessions
As children grow, they may become more efficient at nursing, leading to shorter sessions. This doesn’t mean they’re ready to stop—it’s simply a reflection of their growing abilities and changing needs. Honestly, it might also be their way of saying, “Let’s make this quick, Mom. I’ve got blocks to stack and a couch to climb.”
Why You Might Never Need to Know When to Stop Nursing
When Does Weaning Really Begin?
Weaning isn’t a single moment; it’s a gradual process that begins the moment something other than the breast is introduced to your baby's mouth for food or comfort. For most families, this starts in the first few days after birth with the use of pacifiers, bottles, or supplemental feeding. Each of these steps marks the beginning of a natural progression toward eventual weaning—though your baby probably has no idea they’re “beginning” anything.
And - it doesn't mean that you are destined to stop any time soon. The time between the introduction of a pacifier and the complete stop of breastfeeding can be years. (In my case it was 6. Yes. 6 years. You read that right.)
Ecological Breastfeeding
For mothers practicing ecological breastfeeding—a style of nursing that includes unrestricted access to the breast, co-sleeping, and minimal use of substitutes like pacifiers—natural weaning typically begins around six months when solid foods are introduced. At this point, breast milk transitions from being the sole source of nutrition to complementing other foods. Picture it as the start of a culinary adventure, where mashed bananas meet breast milk on the menu.
Weaning Onto Solid Foods
Introducing solid foods doesn’t mean the breastfeeding relationship ends. It’s a gradual process where your baby begins exploring new textures and tastes while still relying on breast milk for most of their nutrition. For the first long while, breastmilk is still the main source of nutrition for your child.
Over time, the balance shifts more and more towards solid foods as the mainstay, but breastmilk is still teeming with incredibly important nutrients and more. Sometimes this happens rather quickly, and sometimes it is slow over the course of years with breastmilk filling the nutritional gap as needed (especially during illness and other unexpected life interruptions).
The Natural Conclusion of Breastfeeding
As your child grows, the frequency and volume of milk feeds will ebb and flow. Growth spurts, teething, and emotional needs may bring temporary increases in nursing, but over time, these sessions will naturally decrease. Children will eventually wean on their own, even if their mother never actively encourages it. For some, this process may take years, but it is a natural and gentle conclusion to the breastfeeding relationship.
Common Reasons Why Moms Want to Stop Nursing
Pregnancy
Breastfeeding during pregnancy can be physically and emotionally challenging, but it’s often compatible with carrying another child. Tandem nursing is an option that allows you to continue nursing your older child while also preparing for your newborn. You might feel like a milk-making superhero—and honestly, you are.
Wanting to Conceive
It’s true that breastfeeding can delay ovulation, but many mothers successfully conceive while nursing. Night weaning or reducing nursing sessions can sometimes restore fertility without the need to fully wean. It’s worth chatting with your healthcare provider about balancing your goals.
Pressure from Family
Cultural or familial expectations can feel overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that your breastfeeding relationship is yours alone. You don’t need to stop nursing to meet others’ expectations. When Aunt Linda asks, "Isn’t he too old for that?" you can reply, "Not as old as I feel when I miss my morning coffee." Surround yourself with supportive voices who respect your choices—or master the art of the polite smile-and-nod at those ever-eventful family dinners.
Wanting to Get More Sleep
Breastfeeding actually supports sleep for many moms and babies, thanks to the calming hormones it releases. Plus, let’s be honest: A quick nursing session might get you both back to sleep faster than debating the merits of “cry it out” at 3 a.m.
If you feel like your child is waking up more than they should be, it's important to look at underlying reasons. Breastfeeding is always meeting a need. If you take away the method that they are meeting that need right now, the need will likely still remain and you might end with less sleep - not more.
Nursing Aversion
Nursing aversion can be intense, but it doesn’t have to mean the end of breastfeeding. Identifying triggers, setting boundaries, and taking breaks can help you navigate these feelings while continuing to nurse if that feels right for you. You’re not alone in feeling touched-out—you’re human, and it’s okay to acknowledge that. It is 100% okay to wean because you are experiencing aversion to breastfeeding, and it's okay to continue through it even if it hangs around. I chose to tandem feed even when things were hard. The pros of continuing far outweighed the cons for me. (You can read more about my story here.)
Wanting to Go Away on Vacation/Create Time Apart
Breastfeeding and personal time aren’t mutually exclusive. Many mothers find ways to pump or adjust nursing schedules to accommodate travel or time away while maintaining their breastfeeding relationship. Whether you’re dreaming of a beach getaway where you can actually read a book without pictures, or a solo trip to the grocery store that feels like a mini vacation (frozen aisle, here I come!), it’s possible to have both. You’ve got this, multitasking marvel.
Wanting to Create Independence
Breastfeeding and independence often coexist beautifully. Nursing fosters security, which can actually promote confident independence as your child grows. Picture it as giving them a secure base from which to conquer the playground (and the rest of the world one day!).
Going Back to Work
Balancing work and breastfeeding can be challenging, but it’s absolutely doable. Pumping at work, nursing when together, and setting a routine that works for you are all strategies that help working moms continue breastfeeding. You’ve already mastered multi-tasking; this is just another notch in your belt.
And, as you pass the first year mark, your milk supply will be so established, it will likely be able to handle daytime separation (and lack of milk removal) and you can just breastfeed at home while your little one while ditching the pumping.
Just “Ready to Be Done”
If you feel ready to stop nursing, that’s a valid and empowering reason—period.
I also know that understanding your feelings and motivations can bring clarity to your decision.
You don’t need to justify your choice to wean OR continue anyone, whether it’s your well-meaning friend, a curious stranger, or your mom group’s unofficial spokesperson.
How to Know If You Are Ready to Stop Breastfeeding
Why Your “Why” for Weaning Matters
Understanding your reasons for weaning can help you make an empowered and confident decision. Whether it’s physical, emotional, or situational, your “why” deserves thoughtful consideration.
It also can be your compass. It might seem like the fact that you are done is enough, and you now all you need to do is just get them to stop. But the truth is that breastfeeding is a complex parenting tool - and it is meeting needs for both you and your little one that you are likely not even conscious of.
Digging into what is going on under the surface for YOU can help point you in the right direction - the right first steps - to make changes in your breastfeeding relationship that meet the right needs and protect you and your little one in the process.
Journal Prompts to Discover Your Readiness to Wean From Breastfeeding
As I wrap up this blog post - I want to leave you with some support to start that inquiry into what is going on inside for you.
Take some time to journal about what comes up for you when you ask yourself these questions:
What does breastfeeding give you right now?
What would you lose by taking it away?
What would weaning give you?
Can you get that without weaning?
Weigh the pros and cons of getting it with or without weaning.
Frequently Asked Questions About Knowing When To Stop Nursing:
When is a toddler ready to wean?
The reality is that a toddler is ready to wean when they stop breastfeeding. But, that doesn't mean that you have to keep breastfeeding until that happens. What every child is ready for, from the moment they are born to well beyond the toddler years, is to lovingly be supported and have their needs met. Breastfeeding is always meeting a need. As your child ages, they are more and more capable of having their needs met in increasingly varied and sophisticated ways - so often older kids are easier to wean - but if you are ready to support them through, they can be "ready" at any age.
At what age is breastfeeding no longer beneficial?
Breastmilk never loses its benefits. In fact, it continues to adapt to your growing child's needs as they age. Even if you think that you are basically "all dried up", even the small drops that your child might get are still teeming with important immunological factors. You can keep giving them breastmilk for as long as they want to drink it and it will provide them with nutrition, immune support, and more.
What percentage of moms breastfeed for 2 years?
In your corner of the world, this number may be very different since breastfeeding rates vary hugely from region to region.
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